I visited church with my friend Brandi today, and her minister said a few things that really spoke to me. So much so that I immediately scrambled for a pen so that I could jot them done and come back to them later...
"Real spirituality cannot be forced on the outside through rules and regulations. Real spirituality happens on the inside, and that inner change is made manifest on the outside."
This has been so true with me. People have only noticed such a change in me because of what God originated on the inside of me. What people see on the outside is actually an outflow of a new heart that is always being changed and shaped by God. It doesn't always change as fast as I'd like it to, and my self-will often slows down the process, but He is changing me none the less.
"Listening to the Word of God is good, but is not good enough. Reading the Word of God is good, but is still not good enough. It's only by obeying the Word of God that we change."
True again. I love God's Word and know the power that it has in my life when I feed my mind with it. I must confess though that I'm usually more worried about just reading it, and sometimes I miss the more important aspect of obedience. My thoughts automatically go to James 1:21-27. I want to be "doer," and not just a "hearer." That's only possible with God's strength.
Sunday, December 02, 2007
Monday, November 26, 2007
Accidents Happen, Right?
Well, I'm sorry to say that I was in my first "real" car accident today. You know how it is, when it's rush hour, cars line up like there's no tomorrow, and sometimes you don't realize the one in front of you is totally stopped until you're a little close. That's what happened, and I really had enough time to stop, but it was cold and rainy...
As soon as I hit my brakes, I went sliding. I tried to swerve off the road into the entrance to a nearby condominium complex, but my wheel totally locked up, and I was heading straight for the car in front of me. I plowed into him going probably 35 mph. Thank goodness it didn't plummet him into the cars in front of him, and THANK GOODNESS the man I hit was very calm and very gracious. God knew I couldn't handle anything else.
What's even more disappointing is that just a little over a week ago, I finally had the repairs done to my front bumper that I'd been putting off. It had been needing it for more than six month, and I got to enjoy my new beautiful bumper and grill for a full 11 days. Ugh!!!
My neck hurts some, so I think I'm going to get it looked at tomorrow. Overall, I'm ok though. I'm so grateful.
The car didn't fare so well though, and I'm a little scared that there's been too much damage done. The thought of car shopping again totally overwhelms me. I guess I'll find out after I hear the estimate. This is the first car I've owned that I've really loved. My little black Vibe.
I know God will provide for my needs. Not always the exact way I'd hoped, but He always provides. All I have to do is trust Him. Trust and obey.
As soon as I hit my brakes, I went sliding. I tried to swerve off the road into the entrance to a nearby condominium complex, but my wheel totally locked up, and I was heading straight for the car in front of me. I plowed into him going probably 35 mph. Thank goodness it didn't plummet him into the cars in front of him, and THANK GOODNESS the man I hit was very calm and very gracious. God knew I couldn't handle anything else.
What's even more disappointing is that just a little over a week ago, I finally had the repairs done to my front bumper that I'd been putting off. It had been needing it for more than six month, and I got to enjoy my new beautiful bumper and grill for a full 11 days. Ugh!!!
My neck hurts some, so I think I'm going to get it looked at tomorrow. Overall, I'm ok though. I'm so grateful.
The car didn't fare so well though, and I'm a little scared that there's been too much damage done. The thought of car shopping again totally overwhelms me. I guess I'll find out after I hear the estimate. This is the first car I've owned that I've really loved. My little black Vibe.
I know God will provide for my needs. Not always the exact way I'd hoped, but He always provides. All I have to do is trust Him. Trust and obey.
Saturday, November 10, 2007
What's in a schedule, anyway?
So I've been away from cyberspace for awhile, so sorry. The truth is that I've been working my brains out with my new job...
I graduated in May from Purdue, a milestone I never thought was possible earlier in life, considering where I came from. It was almost surreal. Such a sense of accomplishment and God's blessing. My job search began shortly after, and I have to admit it was more painstaking than I ever thought it would be. I had 2 job offers and another really good prospect. I had no idea which way God wanted me to go, but after alot of prayer and heartache, I believe He lined everything up to take the opportunity for the job I'm currently working.
I love what I do. I absolutely love working with the developmentally disabled. There are so many blessings that come with something like that, a real sense that I'm actually helping someone's life be just a little bit better. That part of me is so glad to be back in the field working, especially back at the same company I was before. If my job just consisted of working with my clients, things would be alot different. Like, if I could just sit and talk to Bert about when he met his girlfriend and the things they have planned to do together this month even though they're older now, or talk to Chris about how he's so proud that he made macaroni and cheese for himself last week, or talk to Charles about who his favorite preacher is, or talk to Eric about how he loves to go horse-back riding. Those are my highlights.
I have to honest and say the rest of the job has utterly overwhelmed me. I've never been responsible for so much paperwork and so many administrative duties in my life. Whether it's true or in my mind, I feel like there's 60 hours of work that I'm trying to accomplish each week in 40 or 45, and I fail every time. I'm finally starting to believe that the illusion I have of being able to get everything done that I set out to do is just that, an illusion. I'm beginning to realize that my expectations are unrealistic, that there will always be something, and that it will still be there tomorrow when I come in.
I've had some slow but sure realizations lately. One of them is that work has been my priority. I've been allowing my work to totally consume me, even though that's not what I set out to do. It's what I think about all of the time, and it's what I let interfere with my personal life, or lack thereof. It's hard to have a social life when you're at the office until 8:00 pm some nights and you still have to hit the gym on the way home.
My relationships are also suffering, I've realized. I'm so scared sometimes to schedule things with people because I'm always thinking I may have to work on "work stuff" or catch up on personal stuff that's been on the back burner for so long due to "work stuff." I think I really thought that my life would be more laid back, more relaxed after I got out of school, but I'm finding that the real problem is my overcommitment issues and inability to balance. Why do I feel like I have to be busy all the time, anyway?
But God is dealing with my heart, because I really believe that it is a heart issue. Last night a few friends and I went to the Jeremy Camp concert in Bloomington, and Jeremy said something that really got my attention. He asked the audience how we were ever going to go deeper in our relationship with God if we didn't make ourselves available to Him. At first I thought he meant spiritually, because I can be guilty at times of holding on to stuff and not giving God full access to my heart, my dreams, and my hopes. But I think he meant in a literal sense too. When our schedules are so busy that we can't even seem to "pencil" God in on our planners, we don't make ourselves available to Him. I'm more than guilty of this too, often not getting enough sleep and rushing off in my day without taking the time to spend with Him. Or trying to go to Him when I return home from a terribly long day-I end up just giving Him what's left over, which is not much. As much as I hate to admit that, I think it means that my actions demonstrate how much I love Him, or should I say how much I have still to love Him. Sure, I try to serve and honor Him in my life, and I think when my heart is right that He's pleased with that. But my priorities are not where they should be, because He belongs at the top of the list.
I'm tired of living my life, running around like I'm in a rat race, not living in the fullness I know He desires for me. I desire that fullness too. I know enough in my walk with Jesus to know that I can't do anything apart from Him. Without realizing it, I just keep trying to do things on my own, but to no avail. I’m tired. I’ve worn myself out in all aspects of my life. I also know that the only good in me comes from Him, and my heart is deceitful and sinful without Him. Deep down in the depths of my heart, I truly want to serve God, to live in obedience to Him, and to surrender everything to Him. That's who I want to be, that's who He made me to be, that's what He desperately wants from and for me.
I graduated in May from Purdue, a milestone I never thought was possible earlier in life, considering where I came from. It was almost surreal. Such a sense of accomplishment and God's blessing. My job search began shortly after, and I have to admit it was more painstaking than I ever thought it would be. I had 2 job offers and another really good prospect. I had no idea which way God wanted me to go, but after alot of prayer and heartache, I believe He lined everything up to take the opportunity for the job I'm currently working.
I love what I do. I absolutely love working with the developmentally disabled. There are so many blessings that come with something like that, a real sense that I'm actually helping someone's life be just a little bit better. That part of me is so glad to be back in the field working, especially back at the same company I was before. If my job just consisted of working with my clients, things would be alot different. Like, if I could just sit and talk to Bert about when he met his girlfriend and the things they have planned to do together this month even though they're older now, or talk to Chris about how he's so proud that he made macaroni and cheese for himself last week, or talk to Charles about who his favorite preacher is, or talk to Eric about how he loves to go horse-back riding. Those are my highlights.
I have to honest and say the rest of the job has utterly overwhelmed me. I've never been responsible for so much paperwork and so many administrative duties in my life. Whether it's true or in my mind, I feel like there's 60 hours of work that I'm trying to accomplish each week in 40 or 45, and I fail every time. I'm finally starting to believe that the illusion I have of being able to get everything done that I set out to do is just that, an illusion. I'm beginning to realize that my expectations are unrealistic, that there will always be something, and that it will still be there tomorrow when I come in.
I've had some slow but sure realizations lately. One of them is that work has been my priority. I've been allowing my work to totally consume me, even though that's not what I set out to do. It's what I think about all of the time, and it's what I let interfere with my personal life, or lack thereof. It's hard to have a social life when you're at the office until 8:00 pm some nights and you still have to hit the gym on the way home.
My relationships are also suffering, I've realized. I'm so scared sometimes to schedule things with people because I'm always thinking I may have to work on "work stuff" or catch up on personal stuff that's been on the back burner for so long due to "work stuff." I think I really thought that my life would be more laid back, more relaxed after I got out of school, but I'm finding that the real problem is my overcommitment issues and inability to balance. Why do I feel like I have to be busy all the time, anyway?
But God is dealing with my heart, because I really believe that it is a heart issue. Last night a few friends and I went to the Jeremy Camp concert in Bloomington, and Jeremy said something that really got my attention. He asked the audience how we were ever going to go deeper in our relationship with God if we didn't make ourselves available to Him. At first I thought he meant spiritually, because I can be guilty at times of holding on to stuff and not giving God full access to my heart, my dreams, and my hopes. But I think he meant in a literal sense too. When our schedules are so busy that we can't even seem to "pencil" God in on our planners, we don't make ourselves available to Him. I'm more than guilty of this too, often not getting enough sleep and rushing off in my day without taking the time to spend with Him. Or trying to go to Him when I return home from a terribly long day-I end up just giving Him what's left over, which is not much. As much as I hate to admit that, I think it means that my actions demonstrate how much I love Him, or should I say how much I have still to love Him. Sure, I try to serve and honor Him in my life, and I think when my heart is right that He's pleased with that. But my priorities are not where they should be, because He belongs at the top of the list.
I'm tired of living my life, running around like I'm in a rat race, not living in the fullness I know He desires for me. I desire that fullness too. I know enough in my walk with Jesus to know that I can't do anything apart from Him. Without realizing it, I just keep trying to do things on my own, but to no avail. I’m tired. I’ve worn myself out in all aspects of my life. I also know that the only good in me comes from Him, and my heart is deceitful and sinful without Him. Deep down in the depths of my heart, I truly want to serve God, to live in obedience to Him, and to surrender everything to Him. That's who I want to be, that's who He made me to be, that's what He desperately wants from and for me.
Sunday, September 02, 2007
World Pulse Fest!
A few Saturdays ago, a couple of friends and a sponsee and I packed up and went to South Bend for the day for Pulse Fest. There were so many good Christian bands there, but some of my favorites were Sanctus Real, Kutless, and Third Day. It's always such a blessing to worship (and rock out) with other believers. It was so awesome, and I got some really good pics of Mack Powell from Third Day and of Michael W. Smith. Most of all, we had some fun girl time! (We all spent the night together the night before, so we were especially giggly because of our lack of sleep) Below are some pics for the weekend...there were probably at least 20-30,000 people there!
.jpg)
Me and Brandi
Third Day...
Me and Laura
Kelly and Brandi
Me and BrandiI'm so gratelful for good friends and for the fun I have in recovery and with my sisters in Christ!
Sunday, July 08, 2007
Zenith 2007!!!
Well, I had another awesome year counseling at Camp Zenith on the Campus of Oklahoma Christian University in Edmond, Oklahoma. More than 500 teenagers from accross the country are at Zenith each year, most of them with their youth groups. We had a group from Arizona this year, which was awesome. Hope you guys keep coming!
Camp was the third week in June, and because of the rain, we were spared of the usual unbearable humidity! (Thank you God!) This was my fifth year to be a counselor, and every year has a special place in my heart, each with its own set of memories. Every year I have an amazing bunch of teanagers that my male co-counselor and I get to spend the week with. Every year God opens up opportunities to share with them, to love them, and to listen to them.
Camp was the third week in June, and because of the rain, we were spared of the usual unbearable humidity! (Thank you God!) This was my fifth year to be a counselor, and every year has a special place in my heart, each with its own set of memories. Every year I have an amazing bunch of teanagers that my male co-counselor and I get to spend the week with. Every year God opens up opportunities to share with them, to love them, and to listen to them.
My co-counselor was a great guy who just graduated from Harding University, where I spent my freshman year in college, so we immediately hit it off. And both of us just graduated with a bachelor's in psychology, so we joked all week that we were the "real" counselors. LOL I'll make another post soon updating everyone on my graduation and job search, among other things. Here are some pictures of my Z-group from camp. Please keep in touch guys and know that I'm praying for you!!!!
Meg and Chelsea
.jpg)
Katie and Katelyn Mae
Goofy group pic!
Group hug! Awww!
Victoria, Kathleen, and Andrea
Paula and Caitlin
Me and my co-counselor Chris
It's always wonderful to see all my friends from from around the country who come out to be part of the staff and youth minister team at Zenith. Miss you guys already!
Me and Liz Gibbs
Me and Benny!!!
Adam Copeland and Chris Robey
Adam Copeland and Niki Nowell
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Way to Go Colts!!!
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Wow! The beginning of a new year!
Hi everyone! I can't believe that January of 2007 is nearing its end! Things have been happening so fast I can barely keep up! We had a wonderful time with the Downey's for Christmas in Fort Wayne. I'll post the pictures when I get the chance. Then after the New Year we were able to spend some time with my mother's side of the family, enjoying a late Christmas and remembering my grandfather on his birthday, which was January 2nd. I went to Urbana (a missions conference for Intervarsity Christian Fellowship) in St. Louis with my Intervarsity chapter from IUPUI. The conference was from December 27-31, so I was blessed to bring in the New Year with 22,000 other Christians from around the globe, all praising our King together in the Edward Jones dome in downtown St. Louis! More to come about what God did in my heart while at Urbana and what He has continued to do in me since returning-our God is incredible and He never ceases to amaze me!
Classes started on 1/8/07, so I've been off and running again. I'm taking four classes this semester, which is more than normal. As stressful and chaotic as my life can seem sometimes, I'll have to say that my problems have upgraded drastically. Looking back at where I've come from, only God could get the glory for the transformation and the blessings and responsiblities I'm able to have in my life today! Hope everyone had a safe and wonderful New Years, and I pray that God would direct your paths as your heart submits to Him this year so that you can experience all of the fullness that He has for you in Christ Jesus!
Classes started on 1/8/07, so I've been off and running again. I'm taking four classes this semester, which is more than normal. As stressful and chaotic as my life can seem sometimes, I'll have to say that my problems have upgraded drastically. Looking back at where I've come from, only God could get the glory for the transformation and the blessings and responsiblities I'm able to have in my life today! Hope everyone had a safe and wonderful New Years, and I pray that God would direct your paths as your heart submits to Him this year so that you can experience all of the fullness that He has for you in Christ Jesus!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
