Reflections...

Wow it’s been such a busy week! It amazes me how busy I stay even when school is out. I finally got registered for summer school last weekend!!! I’ve really enjoyed the time off, but knew it would be short lived…

My sister graduated from high school on Friday. It is so weird every time I go back to Southport High, I remember so much of my years spent there. Some good, some bad. I’m so excited for her, but also scared. Life as she knows it is about to change drastically. I think she may go to IUPUI with me this fall. That gives me a chance to do some more of that “big sister stuff.” :) I love her, and I’m so grateful that God has, through His grace, allowed me to be an example of Christ to her. He has given me the opportunity the last few years to learn how to love her and really get to know her as a person. I’m so glad we have a friendship today, as it has definitely not always been so.

I was in Celebrate Recovery the other night, and heard something that was really profound to me. The lady was talking about how our understanding is so limited compared to the understanding of an infinite and holy God. She said she had always trusted God as much as she understood, but that she recently felt Him saying to her, “Child, do not let your understanding determine your trust.” Wow! I mean, how often am I trusting when I can maybe see how things are going to work out well, but when something terrible happens or I don’t understand why it is happening, my trust can go right out the window? Who is more trustworthy than the God of this universe, and who better to be in control than the one who created every cell in my body? Lord, help me to trust you more.

We just wrapped up the quarter for Wednesday night class for the children. I was blessed to help out in the kindergarten class this last quarter and will miss working with the kids. It was really a challenge for me that turned out to be a blessing. I didn’t really want to do it because I wanted to leave that night open for homework. Then God really started showing me that I needed to be more involved with my church and to learn how to serve others. Sometimes I have no idea how selfish I am until the Lord reveals it gently. Some of the kids were so hyper that their attention span ran about 1.5 seconds. LOL. Others were so sweet and well behaved it was impossible not to fall in love with. Children are such precious gifts from God!

I baby-sit for a family with four boys every Monday night, ages ranging from 5th grade to 6 months. Their parents are believers and to all of you parents out there, it is so refreshing to see parents raising their children up in the Lord! Their youngest is really a doll. I’ve been watching the boys since before he was born. He smiles and giggles more than any other baby I’ve ever seen. He’s recently discovered his feet, and it’s hilarious to see the excitement on his face when he’s laying down and catches a foot out of the corner of his eye. Straight for the mouth it goes! He’s at that age where he thinks that EVERYTHING goes into his mouth. When I first started, the extra money each week was nice. But over the months, it has turned into much more of a blessing than that. I feel that God has given me a real glimpse into the life of a family with children. What a blessing, but what responsibility! I want to have a family so bad someday, but it’s obvious that my heart needs more preparation. One day I pray I’ll be ready for all of that responsibility! And so I’m thankful for the relationships I’m building with the boys. They are teaching me patience, love, and how to be less selfish. :)

Here we go again

I haven't posted in a while, but I've honestly been trying. For reasons beyond my control and for reasons of shear stupidity, I've decided to just start over from scratch.It's kind of hard to explain what happened, but I'll give it a go...

Several nights ago, I was typing a post, and I had been typing for about 45 minutes when I lost the entire thing by accidentally clicking on the "Back" button. I sat there for a moment in disbelief, and after a long groan, I decided to retype the entire thing. After I finished retyping the post, and as I was proof-reading, my cat flew into the office and ran into the powerbar behind my computer desk, knocking the plug loose. As I dove for the plug to make sure it was secure, my computer lost all power!!! I burst into tears, realizing that it was all gone...again!!! For a moment I mourned the sleep that I could have been enjoying since my efforts typing proved to be a waste of time. As I switched to denile mode, I got back on the computer with a glimmer of hope that it was somehow saved. My fears were confirmed, and with much distress, I retired for the night.

The next night, I locked my cat out of the office and attempted to try again. By the third draft, I really knew what I wanted to say and was beginning to memorize the whole thing. :) I finished the post, and published it successfully!!! ...or so I thought. The post was showing up on my interface screen as being published, but never showed up on the website. For two days, I tried everything I could to fix the problem. I e-mailed for blog support help and went through the list of things to try when experiencing difficulties with updating and publishing. All to no avail. Finally, last night I decided to create another blog and move all of my posts to that blog, even though that is really not what I wanted to do. After setting up another blog, I decided to delete it and to just continue to try to find resolution for the old one. So after I deleted the new blog, I clicked on my original blog and it was gone!!! I accidentally deleted the wrong blog, and now not only was the entire last post not even able to be recovered (the one I had already lost twice), but all my other posts were gone too! So after crying and pouting for a little while, I decided to get over it and move on. So what was the lesson: always save posts somewhere else in case they are lost. At least I will NEVER make that mistake again...So, here we go again!