Man, since I've been out of town for over a week, it's kind of hard getting back in the swing of things. With the usual 4-6 hour nights of sleep at Zenith, I came home quite exhausted. I ate in the cafeteria there all week, and I had more fries last week than I've probably had in the last 6 months! Needless to say, it's been really hard to get psyched up about getting into my workout routine again. It was challenging yesterday, but today I really found myself having to pray for God to give me the motivation and to help me to finish. You know how it is, it's just hard to stay at something when every cell in your body cries, "I don't want to be here!" Anyway, I finished my workout, and my body is starting to adjust again. God is good.
My prayer with this area of my life is not much different than my prayer for any other area of my life...Thy will be done. I've stuggled with my weight my whole life, but it really took off for me when I quit smoking (when I became a Christian). And it always used to be about the wieght and how I looked, but I realized that that can be just as idolitrous as anything if that's what I'm chasing. Today, I really want to serve God with every part of me, and that obviously includes my body. Not that I'm not serving Him now, but I think I could better serve Him by taking care of the body he gave me. So I've lost about 20 pounds, but still have quite a ways to go. Sometimes it can get discouraging, especially since I like chocolate so much! :) But as I seek Him, I'm just reminded that it's not about the pounds or the results, it's about my heart. It's about whether my hearts desire is to really honor God.
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
Monday, June 27, 2005
Zenith 2005
Well, I've spent the last week in Oklahoma City at Oklahoma Christian University as a camp counselor at a Christian high school camp called Zenith. It was amazing...as usual! This was my third year to counsel, and every year it gets a little better. My male co-counselor and I had 14 teens for the week to love on, bond with, and model Christ to. I must say that they were one of the most well-behaved and mature groups I've had yet. God is so awesome and so faithful, to take the meager seeds that we sow into the lives of others and nurture them and help them to grow! The last night of Zenith was the best, I'll say. In our group time, we read a chapter in Mark Cahill's book (see my favorite book list) called "If they're breathing, they need Jesus." We talked about how hard, but how important it is to share Jesus with those around us. Then we talked about our talk matching our walk, and I was able to use that to share my testimony. It's one that some in the Church of Christ may not believe, but I'm okay with that. I use the Bible to measure my experiences by. It overrides all that I think and feel. It is truth.
Here's a glimpse of my testimony of coming to Jesus Christ:
I was baptized with I was 10 (I think). I truly believed in Jesus and wanted to be a "Christian." But something would prove to be very wrong with my walk as a Christian in the years to come. Although I believed in Jesus, intellectually, (by the way, so does Satan) I didn't really know what repentance meant or that I even needed it. I was consoled in my sin, loved it, and lived in it. I attended church, but had no desire to read the Word of God or fellowship with other believers. I didn't have the fruits of the Spirit or fruit of thanksgiving & good works. I had no fruit of repentance (I did not have a changed life). When Jesus takes over a person's heart, things will absolutely change. I didn't desire the things of God, but the things of the world. Examining myself against what the Scriptures say, I believe with all of my heart that had I died in my sins, I would be in hell at this moment.
Well, I was 20, I had come through my battle with alcoholism and had been sober 2 years, when our youth minister at the time, Benny Nowell :) asked me to chaperone on a youth retreat called Winterfest. I told him I'd think about it, but secretly thought he was crazy because he wouldn't ask if he knew how I really lived. There were many sins I just held on to, and didn't really see much wrong with it...until he asked me to be a godly chaperone to these kids. I thought and thought and thought about it, and was really prompted inwardly to go. And so I did. Jeff Walling was speaking, and I remember the theme of the entire weekend was "It's about time!" (It's about time you left your sin and stop putting it off. Can you guarantee me that you will wake up tomorrow? What if you die in your sin?) I knew that I was not right with God deep down, and the reality of eternity was staring me in the face. I finally realized that I had only been giving Jesus a percentage of my life, when He demanded 100% of my heart. I was terrified to leave my sin, because it's all I knew and all my friends did, but that night, on February 15, 2002, I gave all of my heart to Jesus Christ. I was so emotional that weekend, as I was sorrowful over my sin and joyful at the same time for the precious gift of Christ. And my life has never been the same since. Almost immediately, things in my heart began to change, and they still continue to change in the process of sanctification. My glaring sins that I had held onto so tightly, I now found the strength through Christ to leave behind, never to return. He truly gave me a new heart with new desires!!!
And so I was able to share my experiences with my kids at Zenith, and to talk with them about the fruits of a godly life. We can fool everyone around us-our friends, family, people at church, even ourselves, but we can't fool God. He knows our hearts and whether we thirst after Him or the things of the world. Mark's book generated some good discussion and some were asking me where they could get a copy and how much, since it would equip them to better share Jesus with their friends. Every kid left with one of Mark's book that night, and I know that God will use it to not only touch their hearts, but in the furthering of his kingdom as they share Christ with others!
The youth ministers teach the classes that the teens go to (3 a day for 4 days). I'm so thankful for all of the youth ministers, their love for God, and for their steadfastness in preparing lessons that would invest biblical truths in the lives of our youth. But out of the 12 classes we went to, some stuck out in my heart more than others. The following are 3 classes that God really used to touch or speak to my heart through:
1. Doug Oaks' class really challenged me even more to be aware of the conformity we live by, sometimes not even knowing it, in the church. Like the way we talk, dress, behave, etc. What's our real heart's motive? He also showed a video that addressed things that I have never seen addressed in the Church of Christ. I love truth and when I saw the video, I just wanted to jump up and down and cheer! The video was about people who are in our churches that have never truly been born-again, and the narrator referred to them as the "radically churched." I think the enemy has so many people blinded to their non-repentance and their trust in works or religion to save them. Doug gave me a website www.imb.org (I think), so I'm going to check it out. I would beg any believer to check out www.livingwaters.com, click on the "free audios," and listen to "True and False Conversion." The Bible actually speaks loudly about true and about false conversion, and it explains so much of why the church is the way it is today. Check it out!
2. Benny Nowell presented his Dry Bones ministry in his class and related it to how we can apply it to our lives. Dry Bones is a ministry (his is in Denver) that helps kids on the street by loving them, providing tangible help, and by showing Christ to them. I was so challenged to get out of my comfort zone and love others that are different from myself. I was so touched by it that I'm going to start praying and considering if I can visit the Nowells in Denver and help out with Dry Bones when I'm there. You can check out their website at www.drybonesdenver.org.
3. Adam Copeland taught a class about Mary, and we talked about how Mary must have felt as she held her son and watched him grow up, the son of God. He asked us to write a letter to our future children and to include some of the hopes and dreams we had for them and what characteristics we would want for them. I must say, it was difficult at first. I'm used to thinking in terms of writing to my future husband, because I journal to him, but never have I written to my future children. The only thing that I could really muster up to write, was that:
"Your father and I love each other so much, and we love you with all that we have. More important than any gift or experience or characteristic we could wish for you, is the experience of a saving relationship with Christ Jesus. We pray that you would seek Him with all your heart, honor Him in all you do, and be obedient to Him no matter what the cost. Your father and I pledge that we will do everything we can, through the power of the Holy Spirit, to model a Christ-centered marriage to you, to love you with the love of Christ, and to raise you to fear and love the Lord. We will teach you His ways and lead you toward the Savior."
I'm paraphrasing, but I just kept going in circles thinking of what to say. It made me realize just that much more how my relationship with my future husband will impact our children, especially when it comes to how we model Christ. I guess now I know what to say to them, how I feel, and what I believe will be most important in raising them. I love children so much, and I can't wait to love and enjoy my own one day as precious gifts from our creator!
On the way home, we stopped in Searcy, AR to stay the night with some of our friends from Harding. Angie, my road buddy and good friend, graduated from Haring University in Searcy, and I went there my freshman year of college. She stayed with a good friend of hers and my sister and I spent the night with my good friend Amanda and her new husband Joshua. I grew up with Amanda. We went to preschool and kindergarten together, and we grew up in the same church. She also graduated from Harding and I was there her sophmore year. It was such a blessing to be with her and Josh! I came out to Searcy for their wedding in March and was so blessed to be able to witness a marriage between two people who are committed to purity like they are. They kissed for the first time at the alter! I've read about it in books (like Josh Harris' books), but they actually embraced that standard for their courship! It's so hard for me to imagine that, but I know that all things are possible through Christ. Not that I necessarily think that kissing of anykind is sinful before marriage, because I don't, but I am confident that their marriage will be blessed that much more by their steadfast commitment to allow "not even a hint" of sexual immorality be found among them. Anyway, it was fun catching up and awesome just to be able to share with them all the ways God was stirring hearts at Zenith. I'm so greatful for my sisters and brothers in Christ!!!
I should really go to bed, since it's 2am-I have to be at work at 8am!!! That's what I get for getting "out of the loop" in blogworld and having to read and write a whole lot to catch up! Good night...you'll probably get more sleep than I. :)
Here's a glimpse of my testimony of coming to Jesus Christ:
I was baptized with I was 10 (I think). I truly believed in Jesus and wanted to be a "Christian." But something would prove to be very wrong with my walk as a Christian in the years to come. Although I believed in Jesus, intellectually, (by the way, so does Satan) I didn't really know what repentance meant or that I even needed it. I was consoled in my sin, loved it, and lived in it. I attended church, but had no desire to read the Word of God or fellowship with other believers. I didn't have the fruits of the Spirit or fruit of thanksgiving & good works. I had no fruit of repentance (I did not have a changed life). When Jesus takes over a person's heart, things will absolutely change. I didn't desire the things of God, but the things of the world. Examining myself against what the Scriptures say, I believe with all of my heart that had I died in my sins, I would be in hell at this moment.
Well, I was 20, I had come through my battle with alcoholism and had been sober 2 years, when our youth minister at the time, Benny Nowell :) asked me to chaperone on a youth retreat called Winterfest. I told him I'd think about it, but secretly thought he was crazy because he wouldn't ask if he knew how I really lived. There were many sins I just held on to, and didn't really see much wrong with it...until he asked me to be a godly chaperone to these kids. I thought and thought and thought about it, and was really prompted inwardly to go. And so I did. Jeff Walling was speaking, and I remember the theme of the entire weekend was "It's about time!" (It's about time you left your sin and stop putting it off. Can you guarantee me that you will wake up tomorrow? What if you die in your sin?) I knew that I was not right with God deep down, and the reality of eternity was staring me in the face. I finally realized that I had only been giving Jesus a percentage of my life, when He demanded 100% of my heart. I was terrified to leave my sin, because it's all I knew and all my friends did, but that night, on February 15, 2002, I gave all of my heart to Jesus Christ. I was so emotional that weekend, as I was sorrowful over my sin and joyful at the same time for the precious gift of Christ. And my life has never been the same since. Almost immediately, things in my heart began to change, and they still continue to change in the process of sanctification. My glaring sins that I had held onto so tightly, I now found the strength through Christ to leave behind, never to return. He truly gave me a new heart with new desires!!!
And so I was able to share my experiences with my kids at Zenith, and to talk with them about the fruits of a godly life. We can fool everyone around us-our friends, family, people at church, even ourselves, but we can't fool God. He knows our hearts and whether we thirst after Him or the things of the world. Mark's book generated some good discussion and some were asking me where they could get a copy and how much, since it would equip them to better share Jesus with their friends. Every kid left with one of Mark's book that night, and I know that God will use it to not only touch their hearts, but in the furthering of his kingdom as they share Christ with others!
The youth ministers teach the classes that the teens go to (3 a day for 4 days). I'm so thankful for all of the youth ministers, their love for God, and for their steadfastness in preparing lessons that would invest biblical truths in the lives of our youth. But out of the 12 classes we went to, some stuck out in my heart more than others. The following are 3 classes that God really used to touch or speak to my heart through:
1. Doug Oaks' class really challenged me even more to be aware of the conformity we live by, sometimes not even knowing it, in the church. Like the way we talk, dress, behave, etc. What's our real heart's motive? He also showed a video that addressed things that I have never seen addressed in the Church of Christ. I love truth and when I saw the video, I just wanted to jump up and down and cheer! The video was about people who are in our churches that have never truly been born-again, and the narrator referred to them as the "radically churched." I think the enemy has so many people blinded to their non-repentance and their trust in works or religion to save them. Doug gave me a website www.imb.org (I think), so I'm going to check it out. I would beg any believer to check out www.livingwaters.com, click on the "free audios," and listen to "True and False Conversion." The Bible actually speaks loudly about true and about false conversion, and it explains so much of why the church is the way it is today. Check it out!
2. Benny Nowell presented his Dry Bones ministry in his class and related it to how we can apply it to our lives. Dry Bones is a ministry (his is in Denver) that helps kids on the street by loving them, providing tangible help, and by showing Christ to them. I was so challenged to get out of my comfort zone and love others that are different from myself. I was so touched by it that I'm going to start praying and considering if I can visit the Nowells in Denver and help out with Dry Bones when I'm there. You can check out their website at www.drybonesdenver.org.
3. Adam Copeland taught a class about Mary, and we talked about how Mary must have felt as she held her son and watched him grow up, the son of God. He asked us to write a letter to our future children and to include some of the hopes and dreams we had for them and what characteristics we would want for them. I must say, it was difficult at first. I'm used to thinking in terms of writing to my future husband, because I journal to him, but never have I written to my future children. The only thing that I could really muster up to write, was that:
"Your father and I love each other so much, and we love you with all that we have. More important than any gift or experience or characteristic we could wish for you, is the experience of a saving relationship with Christ Jesus. We pray that you would seek Him with all your heart, honor Him in all you do, and be obedient to Him no matter what the cost. Your father and I pledge that we will do everything we can, through the power of the Holy Spirit, to model a Christ-centered marriage to you, to love you with the love of Christ, and to raise you to fear and love the Lord. We will teach you His ways and lead you toward the Savior."
I'm paraphrasing, but I just kept going in circles thinking of what to say. It made me realize just that much more how my relationship with my future husband will impact our children, especially when it comes to how we model Christ. I guess now I know what to say to them, how I feel, and what I believe will be most important in raising them. I love children so much, and I can't wait to love and enjoy my own one day as precious gifts from our creator!
On the way home, we stopped in Searcy, AR to stay the night with some of our friends from Harding. Angie, my road buddy and good friend, graduated from Haring University in Searcy, and I went there my freshman year of college. She stayed with a good friend of hers and my sister and I spent the night with my good friend Amanda and her new husband Joshua. I grew up with Amanda. We went to preschool and kindergarten together, and we grew up in the same church. She also graduated from Harding and I was there her sophmore year. It was such a blessing to be with her and Josh! I came out to Searcy for their wedding in March and was so blessed to be able to witness a marriage between two people who are committed to purity like they are. They kissed for the first time at the alter! I've read about it in books (like Josh Harris' books), but they actually embraced that standard for their courship! It's so hard for me to imagine that, but I know that all things are possible through Christ. Not that I necessarily think that kissing of anykind is sinful before marriage, because I don't, but I am confident that their marriage will be blessed that much more by their steadfast commitment to allow "not even a hint" of sexual immorality be found among them. Anyway, it was fun catching up and awesome just to be able to share with them all the ways God was stirring hearts at Zenith. I'm so greatful for my sisters and brothers in Christ!!!
I should really go to bed, since it's 2am-I have to be at work at 8am!!! That's what I get for getting "out of the loop" in blogworld and having to read and write a whole lot to catch up! Good night...you'll probably get more sleep than I. :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
